It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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