I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
