Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
