No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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