I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
id be glad to
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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