You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize