Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
