She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
