she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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