he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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