Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
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rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
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you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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