so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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