He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i think i just lost a toe
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize