I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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