Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
