Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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