Pappa wants mamma naked
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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