We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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