i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
