There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
