Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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