For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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