Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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