I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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