I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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