Im at strip club and am horny
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How external is "for external use only"?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
