All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
