You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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