dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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