Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish you could order shots online.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
