STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
