I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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