FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Randomize
