wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
