walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
