Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
