Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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