There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
