Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
