Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
