I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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