We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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