I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
