I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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