you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
