Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
