I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
