dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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