After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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