the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
