you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
