we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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