Just fell off a train. Bad.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
