I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize