I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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