Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
