Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
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