If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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