Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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