Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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