She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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