I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
