Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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