You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
